My scarfy woes!

19 Jun

One whole week of staying indoors really made me forget that the cold is taking over. And, in melbourne, cold just does not mean cold. It means the bone-chilling, angry, ever-blowing wind that ruins your hair, that keeps hitting you in the face and just does not go away! Now, if it were the early morning, I would have remembered to wear a scarf as a sensible person would do. But, since I had not felt the wind’s anger in the confines of my room, I thought my parka would be good enough. The only good decision I made was to wear my sneakers not the ballet flats because my feet just would have died in the flats. It is not like it is not cold indoors, it is but then it is not windy. And, on the top of that, our house is not normally cold. (On a totally different note, I just love the bus drivers who see you coming running behind the bus and stop for you when they have just left the stop. It might not be the lawful thing to do but it means so much to the person behind if they can just catch the bus and reach their uni in time. Ya, I am in the bus as I am writing this and this thing just happened so I wanted to include a little appreciation.) Going back to my previous topic, our house is actually built for winter. It does not get as cold as some other houses get. But, in summer! Lets just not talk about that. I do not want to think about that right now. All I wanted to say was I should have carried a scarf today and I ended up here. Since I have already included totally random things in this post, I would just add some more. This bus feels cold! I do not know why. It feels like there is a gust of wind coming from somewhere. I really wish the driver would turn the heating on. Literally everyone is wearing a scarf in this bus! How could I have been so stupid to forget mine? All I needed to do was check the weather before leaving home. But did I do that? No! I just hope I would be able to get a nice and warm bus during the return trip home. Oh my lovely scarves hanging in my wardrobe, I miss you lovelies so much. Remind me not to leave you behind again.

Exam-time craziness!

18 Jun

So this is going to be a quick short one. I really need to write this now as I am going crazy due to how this whole week has gone. I feel like I need to do something other than studying but at the same time the thing I am doing would not be counted as something to waste my time because if I mess up my exam I definitely do not want to be like “oh, why did I waste my time doing that that day when I should have been studying”! I know the sentence doesn’t sound right, it is too long to be sounding right but I really can not think right now. My brain just feels overloaded with stuff that should be there and that should not be there. And, it is not like this is the first time I am appearing in exams! I mean, I am not sure why am I even getting this anxious and all. This could very well be my last exam in fact, as in the last academic exam session of my life if I want it to be. And, never have I ever felt this restless. Maybe it is something to do with the fact that I have at home for a WHOLE WEEK! And, guess what I have been forcing myself to do this whole week. That is right, STUDYING STUDYING STUDYING (or at least trying to). Also, I did NOT work at all this week. Not that I planned not to, but I could not (minor medical reason). So, here is what I had planned for this past week: ‘Finish INE exam on wednesday and go to the city to enjoy your time. Start studying TSE from thursday and study it for 2 whole days. Go to work on the weekend and study during the evening time (if you can). Start CPE from monday and finish it by wednesday. Revise TSE again wednesday evening and revise CPE on thursday morning. Attend CPE exam on thursday, come home, try to revise TSE if you can, and appear on the exam on friday. Be free on friday, yay!’ But this is how it went: ‘Finish INE exam on wednesday and got to the city and have fun. Start studying TSE from thursday and study till friday.’ But all of a sudden, an exception to my well thought of plan. My shoulder hurts, my neck hurts, my bones hurt, my nerves hurt, sleeping is painful, eating is painful, breathing is painful! How can I go to work like this? So the routine goes: ‘Do not go to work on saturday, go to the clinic, get some medicine, come home and try to study TSE and hope you will be fine my tomorrow.’ Does not happen! So: ‘Do not go to work on sunday, stay at home and yet AGAIN TSE time’! This is just too much study break. An entire week! I started CPE on monday and now am again back to TSE and all those systems and all those nets and all those protocols are taking too much space in my head and I can not think. And, the reason I am frustrated so much is I had way too much time but even if I did not have this whole week to study, I would still have covered the topics I have covered now. I had a week but I skipped the diagrams and tables I was going to skip and covered the ones I was going to cover. So what was the benefit of staying home and seeing the slides each and every day? It only served to frustrate me even more. It is like I study today, tomorrow, day after tomorrow and day after that and the exam is so far I am just studying the same thing over and over again. If I could only finish these 2 exams! I would not mind studying for PND after this friday as it would be something new. But, to be going through same sets of slides over the week. I am ready to explode here. I have subscribed to almost 10 new youtubers in this week, bought a lot of stuff just because I was bored, joined so many new pages. I am actually watching videos on youtube and doing my make-up and hair in the evening and then removing it after 2 hours. And, I do NOT want to be checking youtube during my exam time. I have been watching so much tutorials and stuff that I am thinking about that even when I am about to sleep. And, since I have been confined to my home for the past week, I feel like it has been ages since I went to the city, or anywhere else. I am DYING to go out, have fun and at the same time not be worrying about my exams. My dear dear friday, you have to come soon. I wish I could just fall into a sleeping phase of some sort and wake up directly at 2.15 tomorrow. No reading time for me. I have no idea why they give us 15 minutes just to read the question paper! I mean how long does it take to read a question paper? Please please please, let it all be over soon. I can not study any more about petri nets, or protocol verification, or testing ,or TTCN, or ACPM, or radio links, or antennas, or link budget, or reliability, or economic evaluation, or RADAR, or Doppler, or GPS, or radio navigation, or frequency, or all the ranges and time and whatevers! I know I should be studying rather than writing this at the moment but how much can a girl take?

P.S.: Uh-oh, not a very short one, is it? But, it definitely was a quick one. The poor keyboard has suffered a lot a angry attacks in a short time.

……

6 Apr

Like every other fresh graduate, I had a dream of doing something right after completion of my bachelors course. And, I was almost sure that within 3 months I would have at least figured something out, may it be studying abroad or working somewhere. What I hadn’t expected was that I would be passing my days just by attending GRE classes, watching series at home and doing nothing else. During the time when I was doing GRE, I wasn’t much worried. I mean I was still attending classes. Okay, I wasn’t studying for the test at home or anything but at least, I was STUDYING! But then, after four long months (during which I still wasn’t sure what I wasn’t going to do), the classes were over as well. And, then came the time when I could no longer avoid the fact that I was still in the same stage where I was four months back. Everyone is really impatient to do something right after college, at least that’s what I think. With big hopes and dreams of a happy future, it feels like there is nothing you can’t do. But, then comes reality. And, it hits you hard in the face. I admit trying to get into the workforce straight-away was never what I wanted. I want to do my post-graduate study and I wanted to do it abroad. Four years of undergraduate course had already made me realize that I didn’t want to study at home. But, after hearing my elders’ thoughts, I started thinking that it would be good, better actually, to get a job in my field of study, broaden my knowledge, try to know more what I want to study in future and then only pursue further studies. So, I started looking for jobs. I dreamed of getting a job, going to work, coming home and then reading or watching some series, telling my parents about what happened at work and everything. I had even planned what I wanted to do with my first salary! My dream-world tends to get quite extensive once I start thinking about it. Obviously, none of it came true. But, I got a few workplace and interview experiences to share. And, let me tell you, none of it was pleasant! I felt humiliated, I almost broke down into tears right in front of some random person sitting behind the desk across me. Thinking back, I don’t feel bad about any of them now. In a way, I learnt a lot. I learnt that things don’t go as you plan them to go, you have to hear harsh words from the people you didn’t know, you have to toughen up to face whatever comes your way. Now if I think about those past experiences, I am filled with a different type of positive energy, like I would never let things like that happen again. So, I am, in a sense, glad for whatever happened at that time.

Thus, there went my dream of getting a job and doing all the things that I had planned. And, I went back to my first decision; abroad study, which also didn’t go as I had expected it to. Abroad study isn’t easy for people like me who are an average B grade student and who come from a middle-class background. I know people face many problems, might have to face rejections in several stages, might have to even divert from the path they wanted to continue on but at that time it felt like I was the only one who was getting all these problems. It’s common form of human nature, when something bad happens to you, you assume that it happens only to you and everyone else had it easy even though you don’t know their story. At one point, I even felt like I had hit the rock bottom; I had grown so pessimistic, I wanted to detach from everyone. I had started to feel that my life would be forever stuck in that stage, definitely not getting better, maybe just worse. I couldn’t sleep properly, I didn’t want to meet my friends or relatives, I didn’t want to go out, I didn’t want to do anything rather than stay in my own room. My visa process didn’t run smoothly due to so many reasons (read “due to irresponsible people not doing their job properly”). But, one thing that made it easy to get through all that was my parents’ constant support throughout that stage. They never did give up, they were in fact more worried than me about what would happen and tried so so hard to help me get what I wanted. Finally, all that paid off and off I flew. After coming here, all my previous worries and problems seemed laughable. I always knew life would be hard here but I didn’t have a clear idea of to what extent. I am like, “was I seriously thinking that my life was hard THEN?”. Still, I can’t say that I had a really difficult life after coming here. Of course there are some people who have had it much easier than me but there are others as well who had to go through so much more than I can ever imagine. But, I started getting used to the life here; I adjusted pretty well to the new environment. It is a totally different life for me, a whole lot of new challenges, and a whole new level of independence which is now working well I guess. There will always be new hardships along the way, the never-ending saga of troubles but you just have to know that you have it in you to overcome the bad phase in life and move on; you really need to have faith in yourself;you need to see the silver lining in the cloud.

Change

6 Apr

Recently, I have sort of accepted the fact that things will change for the better sooner or later. I have come to know that all we can do is continue with our lives even during the hardest times, even when you feel like there is no other alternate path that you can follow. And, as if by some miracle, things turn around for the good.Well, even when things don’t exactly turn around for the good, you know, when they just change to something we hadn’t anticipated, we get used to it and after a while that adaptation feels so easy that we feel things have become much better. Consider a simple example of getting in to a school. We all might have had different schools that we wanted to go to (which we didn’t). And, hence we “settle for” some other school, maybe even one where we had never thought of setting a foot in. We go there, we make friends, create different memories. Gradually, we start thinking like it was always supposed to be; it feels like it was better that we didn’t get into the one that we wanted to get in in the first place. And, we even start imagining that if given a chance to do it all over again, we would definitely not aim for our first choice of school. So, even if things don’t exactly turn all happy and bright, time definitely creates a comfortable pattern to which we can fit in.

Correction

26 Jun

Okay! So I know people won’t check the essays I had written previously as samples while preparing for IELTS examination but still I wanted to correct the mistakes I had made there. Well I had not taken preparation classes in an institute so I had almost no practice for writing and speaking. Sure I used to look in the mirror and speak in the allocated time, write essays and such but who could evaluate that? This is not an excuse for my horribly-wrong writing style, but I just wanted to explain it. The opening line of my essays is incorrect (really shows how well prepared I was while writing these, right?). I have copied the essay topics as they were. Never, and I mean NEVER do this. You can paraphrase it, twist it around, or do anything but don’t copy it down. This may even result in loosing marks.

Another thing is about diagram explanations. I haven’t written them here but I wanted to say something about them as well. You are given a diagram of some sort, it maybe a chart or a process diagram and you need to explain it. There is word limit mentioned. And while you get penalized for writing in less words, writing more than mentioned won’t cost you marks(as the rules suggest). Nevertheless, over-lengthy writing is also not that appreciated so you have to try your best to manage it in the given word count. While comparing diagrams, remember to use words and phrases such as doubled, five times as that in, soared high, peaked in, plummeted, rose dramatically, declined steadily rather than using rose and fell. And, also don’t waste your time comparing each and every detail; take some time to understand the diagram and pick out only the MAJOR points. These tips will be mentioned in the books as well.

The last thing, for the second task, you need to be careful while selecting the phrases. Instead of writing “obviously”, you can write “there is not a shadow of doubt over the fact that”. You can use “there is a school of thought that”, “it has been said for years that” and phrases like that. While starting, it might be helpful to say “some people think that….while others argue…” or “the matter of….is among the many that have attracted a lot of attention and caused debate over the years”. There are others like these as well. I just mean that instead of writing it plainly, you need to give it a bit literary touch but not just by using big words and all. You don’t need to make it complex, but replace some common words and stuff so that they sound better while reading. And, don’t start your first paragraph with “first and foremost” and second by “secondly” as I have done. Use the phrases in their place; it certainly enhances the quality.

I am no expert in this matter and I don’t have that great score in writing to show. But, these tips really helped me a lot and I just wanted to share them.

A Man’s World

17 Jun

They don’t say “it’s a man’s world” without any reason. No matter whether we are in the first or the twenty-first century, women still don’t get the respect they deserve. Everything we do is judged and commented upon whether we like it or not. If we don’t get good marks in exam, we obviously spent too much time on making ourselves look pretty rather than we did studying. And, if we get good marks, it’s like exam grades don’t say anything; even if a girl tops it, she won’t actually make the cut in the world because no matter how less guys score than us, they definitely know more, more “real” stuff. And, all we know about is nail and hair care! But, if a guy gets the highest grades: wow he’s really talented, he studies so hard and can obviously do a lot after graduating. What do girls do after graduating? Get married, have a family and look after them! The fact that there are people who say they are living in the twentieth century and still believe in nonsense like this is sick.

Everyone wants to look and feel beautiful; we just express it more. Guys having mohawk or that pin-pointy spiky hair or dreadlocks or long hair or whatever that’s not natural is sooooo “awesome” and all. If we get extensions or try to do anything with our hair, we are simply fake and just care about our looks. Before labeling us as “fake”, just know that guys aren’t the exact examples of real. So we want to look good, is that a crime? We love being complimented, but only in a good way. It makes us feel happy when people whom we know and care about give us compliments, but that definitely doesn’t mean we want to hear it from every other guy. The problem is guys don’t seem to understand this. If we act friendly and talk sweetly with some guy, we are big flirts; we are leading them on. And, if we don’t, we are mean stuck up bitches who don’t care about others. So we can’t be nice and we can’t even be not-nice. Guys talking about sports and gadgets and everything all the time is just so cool but girls talking about their wardrobe or television dramas or fashion or books is the exact opposite. They say the only thing most girls ever talk about is fashion and stuff. So what? If it’s something that we are interested in, we will talk about it all we want. No-one asks guys to shut up when they are going on and on about their interests. If we don’t get good marks on lab viva, it’s because we don’t have the knowledge; only guys know all the practical stuff, girls just do well in theory exams. And, if we do get them, it’s all because we batted our eyelashes and kept on playing with our hair while the examiner (a guy) was questioning us or the examiner (a girl) just gives good marks to girls only. This, actually, makes me wonder. I mean the ones that think like this are boys and this proves that they think another guy would give out good grades to a pretty girl just like that. Doesn’t that mean they would also do the same if they were in the same place? Girls getting cosmetic surgeries is being plastic, the fakest thing one could imagine. And, guys getting tattoos and all those horrifying piercings! What could be more awesome in this world? When girls go on a special diet and work out whether to stay fit or to get thin, they simply are artificial; just caring about their looks, not eating properly, caring more about their body shape rather than their health. But, when guys do the same, all they hear is how good they are treating their body; having 6 or 8 or whatever packs is the “manly” thing to do. They want to feel good about their body, well so do we. We don’t want to be in a good shape just to get guys like they think. Them thinking like that only means all the gym hours and heavy exercising is just so that girls would notice them. Pathetic! They say girls love gossiping and back-biting and talking about others. I won’t deny it. But, guys are not saints either! Don’t we know how they are commenting on every little thing a girl does? If we wear skin-tight jeans, they have to comment about it. And, if we wear ill-fitting jeans, they HAVE to comment about it. Why can’t those holy saints mind their own business? There are guys who would not even read a book just because it was written by a female author. If guys get to the top level, they worked genuinely hard and so deserved it. If girls do, they obviously slept their way through. I have seen enough offensive posts and tweets about girls to say with confidence that no matter how far the world has progressed, most people’s brains still need to undergo massive development.

Guys say they can’t understand girls all the time. If they for once stopped judging us and actually tried, maybe they would realize that we are not that hard to understand. They just need to learn to respect, actually respect the differences. In countries like ours, this can be blamed on the fact that sons are always favored. Coming from a family with two daughters, I have heard my parents being asked “just two daughters, no son?” and me and my sister being asked “no brothers” so many times. And, I have seen “educated” and “broad-minded” people of twenty-first century feeling the need to have a son even when they already have two, three or more daughters! Maybe this has made the guys think they are some sort of special beings or whatever. Maybe that’s why they think it’s their birth right to call girls superficial, shallow, fake, untalented people without even looking at themselves in the mirror. I don’t mean to say all guys are like that. There are some who fall so rightly in that category, some only slightly and there are guys who don’t feel like that. But, deep down, most of the guys still feel this way and this sometimes makes me feel ashamed to be a part of this world.

A brief introduction

19 Apr

It’s just the fifth season but it has already become a type of drama that I would never recommend anyone to watch! Any guesses to which show I’m talking about? I can almost feel like I’m watching the Ekta Kapoor serials, you know the same story going on and on again. Nothing new happens ever but still you watch the new episode (and tweet how much you disliked the current episode afterwards). The same plotting, scheming, pairing, events, the only thing that has changed since season one is that they are no longer in high school! You must have known the name of the show by now. Yes, it is Gossip Girl, the show in which you can’t expect anything exciting to happen these days.

Let me give you a brief history of the show. Serena, Blair, Nate and Chuck are the Upper East Siders and friends since childhood. Serena and Blair, Nate and Chuck are best friends. B and N had been dating since kindergarten but during high school N falls for S. N and S end up sleeping together and afterwards S leaves town. Now B and S are no longer friends. B and N are still dating in the first episode but when S returns N’s feelings can’t stay true to B. While N is too busy to pay attention to B, she cheats on him with C. God knows what happens to N then but he again starts loving B once again. But, poor C, he has also fallen deeply for B! N breaks up with B when he learns about her and C. Then starts the whole B and C thing, they like each other but something always stops them from being together. I recall B getting back together with N for a short duration but this time B breaks up with N. Confused already? Don’t be, there’s more. What happened to S during this whole time? If N and S weren’t together then who did she date? Enter Dan, Lonely Boy from Brooklyn whose sister lil J for me is one of the most annoying characters after B and S themselves. S and D are so in love, working out their differences perfectly. But, what can they do against fate? Turns out S’s mom and D’s dad had been in love when they were young and, after all these years, decide to get married. So from being lovers they go to being to brother and sister!

I’m gonna leave all other characters and just concentrate on these five people. So, S and D are not together, B and C never seem to be ready to get committed to each other (no-one knows why) and N is the hottest, cutest guy on the Upper East Side. S and B go back to being best friends but Gossip Girl keeps coming between them and well they also let her. After high school, B and D attend college just for few episodes. Obviously, who has the time for college when they are too busy plotting against their friends and family? C and B go on and off, on and off over and over again. Sometimes a prince, sometimes an accident, sometimes another girl and a list of things prevent them from being together. When they finally get a chance of the happiness they have always dreamed, B chooses otherwise. I’ll get to that later, now let’s move on to S, N and D. N always had a thing for S so after everything he still wants to be with her in third or fourth season. Apparently D can’t also forget about her. After an series of Tripp, Carter, Vanessa, a character Hilary Duff played, Juliet and so on in these three characters lives, S has to choose between N and D. But, all it took was one evil move from Juliet and lil J, and both the guys choose not to be with her.

Afterwards, D and B set off on a mission together for helping S. Well we had S and N, S and N, B and N, B and C (the only thing that stopped the writers from creating a S and C pair might have been the fact that before marrying D’s dad, S’s mom had married C’s dad making them brother and sister). So now the only pairing left is B and D, and of course we have it. Somehow Dan Humfrey, Lonely Boy from Brooklyn ends up liking Blair Waldorf, the Upper East Side princess and more surprisingly, B returns his feelings. Oh, I almost forgot to mention B getting pregnant at the age of 19 and ready to marry Prince Louis before all this happened. But as she is still in “love” with C, Louis doesn’t accept their marriage. On her wedding day, she confesses how much she loves C and on the following day when C tells her to be with him, she refuses. Laughable, isn’t it? Finally she tells C that though she will always love him, her heart belongs to D and hence B and D! That’s not all. S wants to get back together with D again but as he chooses B now, their friendship gets affected. Oh and due to her own meddlesome nature, S gets into a dispute with N as well. Honestly, when will this girl ever change?

In the recent episode, S totally sabotages her cousin’s chance to pursue her dream, the very same cousin whom she had lectured about how they were family and all in the previous episode. And, why did she do it? Simply because, she didn’t have anything else to do with her life! Doesn’t her attitdue make you want to slap her? Meanwhile B doesn’t want to invite N or S to her and D’s coming out as a couple event. Why she makes this choice is completely beyond me. But, as always everyone gather at the party and a huge bomb of information is dropped.

B or S have never matured, B is still the same as she was in high school. No matter how many relationships she has been through and how many problems she has faced, we can see no level of maturity. I agree there have been parts when I felt so sorry for her that I cried but then she goes back to being her high school self again and I forget it all. And, S, well it seems like friends and family mean nothing to her. The only person she cares for appears to be herself. But, N and C, they are a different story. It’s true that whenever a new girl arrives N gets involved with her and might not think of his friends but he is there for them at the end. And, C is always the guy whom your heart goes out to. He has changed a lot since high school as well, from being the spoilt, bad-boy in first season, he seems like a gentleman now.

So this is the basic, brief story. In between there are so many parts that have been left. Hard to keep track right? The dating circle goes on revolving round the five of them and any new character that appears on the show seems to have a negative motive and gets thrown out at the end. I sometimes wonder why I still watch this show, and even though there is no answer, I just can’t give it up. Story of my life!

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