……

6 Apr

Like every other fresh graduate, I had a dream of doing something right after completion of my bachelors course. And, I was almost sure that within 3 months I would have at least figured something out, may it be studying abroad or working somewhere. What I hadn’t expected was that I would be passing my days just by attending GRE classes, watching series at home and doing nothing else. During the time when I was doing GRE, I wasn’t much worried. I mean I was still attending classes. Okay, I wasn’t studying for the test at home or anything but at least, I was STUDYING! But then, after four long months (during which I still wasn’t sure what I wasn’t going to do), the classes were over as well. And, then came the time when I could no longer avoid the fact that I was still in the same stage where I was four months back. Everyone is really impatient to do something right after college, at least that’s what I think. With big hopes and dreams of a happy future, it feels like there is nothing you can’t do. But, then comes reality. And, it hits you hard in the face. I admit trying to get into the workforce straight-away was never what I wanted. I want to do my post-graduate study and I wanted to do it abroad. Four years of undergraduate course had already made me realize that I didn’t want to study at home. But, after hearing my elders’ thoughts, I started thinking that it would be good, better actually, to get a job in my field of study, broaden my knowledge, try to know more what I want to study in future and then only pursue further studies. So, I started looking for jobs. I dreamed of getting a job, going to work, coming home and then reading or watching some series, telling my parents about what happened at work and everything. I had even planned what I wanted to do with my first salary! My dream-world tends to get quite extensive once I start thinking about it. Obviously, none of it came true. But, I got a few workplace and interview experiences to share. And, let me tell you, none of it was pleasant! I felt humiliated, I almost broke down into tears right in front of some random person sitting behind the desk across me. Thinking back, I don’t feel bad about any of them now. In a way, I learnt a lot. I learnt that things don’t go as you plan them to go, you have to hear harsh words from the people you didn’t know, you have to toughen up to face whatever comes your way. Now if I think about those past experiences, I am filled with a different type of positive energy, like I would never let things like that happen again. So, I am, in a sense, glad for whatever happened at that time.

Thus, there went my dream of getting a job and doing all the things that I had planned. And, I went back to my first decision; abroad study, which also didn’t go as I had expected it to. Abroad study isn’t easy for people like me who are an average B grade student and who come from a middle-class background. I know people face many problems, might have to face rejections in several stages, might have to even divert from the path they wanted to continue on but at that time it felt like I was the only one who was getting all these problems. It’s common form of human nature, when something bad happens to you, you assume that it happens only to you and everyone else had it easy even though you don’t know their story. At one point, I even felt like I had hit the rock bottom; I had grown so pessimistic, I wanted to detach from everyone. I had started to feel that my life would be forever stuck in that stage, definitely not getting better, maybe just worse. I couldn’t sleep properly, I didn’t want to meet my friends or relatives, I didn’t want to go out, I didn’t want to do anything rather than stay in my own room. My visa process didn’t run smoothly due to so many reasons (read “due to irresponsible people not doing their job properly”). But, one thing that made it easy to get through all that was my parents’ constant support throughout that stage. They never did give up, they were in fact more worried than me about what would happen and tried so so hard to help me get what I wanted. Finally, all that paid off and off I flew. After coming here, all my previous worries and problems seemed laughable. I always knew life would be hard here but I didn’t have a clear idea of to what extent. I am like, “was I seriously thinking that my life was hard THEN?”. Still, I can’t say that I had a really difficult life after coming here. Of course there are some people who have had it much easier than me but there are others as well who had to go through so much more than I can ever imagine. But, I started getting used to the life here; I adjusted pretty well to the new environment. It is a totally different life for me, a whole lot of new challenges, and a whole new level of independence which is now working well I guess. There will always be new hardships along the way, the never-ending saga of troubles but you just have to know that you have it in you to overcome the bad phase in life and move on; you really need to have faith in yourself;you need to see the silver lining in the cloud.

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2 Responses to “……”

  1. Sujin April 7, 2014 at 6:11 pm #

    A blog after such a longggg time. so great to see you get back into writing 🙂
    really enjoyed reading the article.
    Keep on blogging!! CHEERS 🙂

    • surockshya April 8, 2014 at 3:40 am #

      Khamsamida 😊! Yo ta khas vanda maile ali dherai agadi lekheko thye, but complete nagari etikai rakheko thye, asti balla milayera publish gareko. Dherai dherai thank u 😃😃😃.

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