One whole week of staying indoors really made me forget that the cold is taking over. And, in melbourne, cold just does not mean cold. It means the bone-chilling, angry, ever-blowing wind that ruins your hair, that keeps hitting you in the face and just does not go away! Now, if it were the early morning, I would have remembered to wear a scarf as a sensible person would do. But, since I had not felt the wind’s anger in the confines of my room, I thought my parka would be good enough. The only good decision I made was to wear my sneakers not the ballet flats because my feet just would have died in the flats. It is not like it is not cold indoors, it is but then it is not windy. And, on the top of that, our house is not normally cold. (On a totally different note, I just love the bus drivers who see you coming running behind the bus and stop for you when they have just left the stop. It might not be the lawful thing to do but it means so much to the person behind if they can just catch the bus and reach their uni in time. Ya, I am in the bus as I am writing this and this thing just happened so I wanted to include a little appreciation.) Going back to my previous topic, our house is actually built for winter. It does not get as cold as some other houses get. But, in summer! Lets just not talk about that. I do not want to think about that right now. All I wanted to say was I should have carried a scarf today and I ended up here. Since I have already included totally random things in this post, I would just add some more. This bus feels cold! I do not know why. It feels like there is a gust of wind coming from somewhere. I really wish the driver would turn the heating on. Literally everyone is wearing a scarf in this bus! How could I have been so stupid to forget mine? All I needed to do was check the weather before leaving home. But did I do that? No! I just hope I would be able to get a nice and warm bus during the return trip home. Oh my lovely scarves hanging in my wardrobe, I miss you lovelies so much. Remind me not to leave you behind again.
So this is going to be a quick short one. I really need to write this now as I am going crazy due to how this whole week has gone. I feel like I need to do something other than studying but at the same time the thing I am doing would not be counted as something to waste my time because if I mess up my exam I definitely do not want to be like “oh, why did I waste my time doing that that day when I should have been studying”! I know the sentence doesn’t sound right, it is too long to be sounding right but I really can not think right now. My brain just feels overloaded with stuff that should be there and that should not be there. And, it is not like this is the first time I am appearing in exams! I mean, I am not sure why am I even getting this anxious and all. This could very well be my last exam in fact, as in the last academic exam session of my life if I want it to be. And, never have I ever felt this restless. Maybe it is something to do with the fact that I have at home for a WHOLE WEEK! And, guess what I have been forcing myself to do this whole week. That is right, STUDYING STUDYING STUDYING (or at least trying to). Also, I did NOT work at all this week. Not that I planned not to, but I could not (minor medical reason). So, here is what I had planned for this past week: ‘Finish INE exam on wednesday and go to the city to enjoy your time. Start studying TSE from thursday and study it for 2 whole days. Go to work on the weekend and study during the evening time (if you can). Start CPE from monday and finish it by wednesday. Revise TSE again wednesday evening and revise CPE on thursday morning. Attend CPE exam on thursday, come home, try to revise TSE if you can, and appear on the exam on friday. Be free on friday, yay!’ But this is how it went: ‘Finish INE exam on wednesday and got to the city and have fun. Start studying TSE from thursday and study till friday.’ But all of a sudden, an exception to my well thought of plan. My shoulder hurts, my neck hurts, my bones hurt, my nerves hurt, sleeping is painful, eating is painful, breathing is painful! How can I go to work like this? So the routine goes: ‘Do not go to work on saturday, go to the clinic, get some medicine, come home and try to study TSE and hope you will be fine my tomorrow.’ Does not happen! So: ‘Do not go to work on sunday, stay at home and yet AGAIN TSE time’! This is just too much study break. An entire week! I started CPE on monday and now am again back to TSE and all those systems and all those nets and all those protocols are taking too much space in my head and I can not think. And, the reason I am frustrated so much is I had way too much time but even if I did not have this whole week to study, I would still have covered the topics I have covered now. I had a week but I skipped the diagrams and tables I was going to skip and covered the ones I was going to cover. So what was the benefit of staying home and seeing the slides each and every day? It only served to frustrate me even more. It is like I study today, tomorrow, day after tomorrow and day after that and the exam is so far I am just studying the same thing over and over again. If I could only finish these 2 exams! I would not mind studying for PND after this friday as it would be something new. But, to be going through same sets of slides over the week. I am ready to explode here. I have subscribed to almost 10 new youtubers in this week, bought a lot of stuff just because I was bored, joined so many new pages. I am actually watching videos on youtube and doing my make-up and hair in the evening and then removing it after 2 hours. And, I do NOT want to be checking youtube during my exam time. I have been watching so much tutorials and stuff that I am thinking about that even when I am about to sleep. And, since I have been confined to my home for the past week, I feel like it has been ages since I went to the city, or anywhere else. I am DYING to go out, have fun and at the same time not be worrying about my exams. My dear dear friday, you have to come soon. I wish I could just fall into a sleeping phase of some sort and wake up directly at 2.15 tomorrow. No reading time for me. I have no idea why they give us 15 minutes just to read the question paper! I mean how long does it take to read a question paper? Please please please, let it all be over soon. I can not study any more about petri nets, or protocol verification, or testing ,or TTCN, or ACPM, or radio links, or antennas, or link budget, or reliability, or economic evaluation, or RADAR, or Doppler, or GPS, or radio navigation, or frequency, or all the ranges and time and whatevers! I know I should be studying rather than writing this at the moment but how much can a girl take?
P.S.: Uh-oh, not a very short one, is it? But, it definitely was a quick one. The poor keyboard has suffered a lot a angry attacks in a short time.